Every Medical Show, Episode Two: Love Emergency

About Every Medical Show

What if every trope, plotline, and archetype from every medical show on television were gathered into one big, crazy hospital? On Every Medical Show, you’ll meet all the same characters you love, and love to hate; like Dr. Handsome Face, who’s battling a drinking problem but always has time for his patients. Or Nurse Sexy Hair, who does her job but always manages to look picture perfect and is never too tired to bat her eyelashes at anything that moves. And Panicked Intern, who’s always on the edge of a nervous breakdown because he hasn’t slept since he started med school. At Average City Hospital, where all your favorite medical drama tropes live, the staff is always too busy with their relationships to be competent doctors, and if there’s an emergency, you better believe they’ll take a long lunch break before getting down to business. On Every Medical Show, you’ll fall in love with the hospital sad sacks and the sexy heroes, you’ll learn to hate the overachievers and whiny patients. Don’t miss a single riveting episode of….Every Medical Show.

Love Emergency--In which 2 EMTs confront their true feelings and a traffic jam

Six-Pack Abs EMT: Oh no B.B. EMT! We have to get this obese patient to the hospital, stat!

B.B. EMT: Stop saying stat Six-Pack Abs, it’s pretentious doctor speak.

*B.B. EMT glares at him and crosses her arms.*

Six-Pack Abs EMT: I know why you’re grumpy B.B. EMT. You’re just upset because we almost kissed at that fancy hospital event but we got interrupted by Awkward Dorky Intern.

Obese Patient: I can’t feel my legs! I can’t feel my legs!

B.B. EMT: We should stop talking about our relationship and save this guy.

Six-Pack Abs EMT: No, we should just make out, the traffic is bad anyways.

*Six-Pack Abs EMT leans in for a kiss.*

Obese Patient: There’s a rat in here! I think it’s near my foot! Ahhhhhhh!!!!!

*Obese Patient screams.*

Six-Pack Abs EMT: Should we help him?

*Ambulance radio crackles.*

Anonymous Radio Voice: 29 Terry Ambulance, are you there?

B.B. EMT: This is 29 Terry, we are en-route with the Obese Patient, we’re trapped in traffic though----

Six-Pack Abs: *Reading from People Magazine* Did you know Beyonce is pregnant again?

*B.B. EMT drops the radio.*

B.B. EMT: Just kiss me you fool!

*B.B. EMT and Six-Pack Abs EMT kiss---a lot.*

Obese Patient: Ahhhhhh!!!! The rat is eating my foot! I can’t reach my foot, someone help me! Help!!!

Every Medical Show, Episode One: The Crash Cart

About Every Medical Show

What if every trope, plotline, and archetype from every medical show on television were gathered into one big, crazy hospital? On Every Medical Show, you’ll meet all the same characters you love, and love to hate; like Dr. Handsome Face, who’s battling a drinking problem but always has time for his patients. Or Nurse Sexy Hair, who does her job but always manages to look picture perfect and is never too tired to bat her eyelashes at anything that moves. And Panicked Intern, who’s always on the edge of a nervous breakdown because he hasn’t slept since he started med school. At Average City Hospital, where all your favorite medical drama tropes live, the staff is always too busy with their relationships to be competent doctors, and if there’s an emergency, you better believe they’ll take a long lunch break before getting down to business. On Every Medical Show, you’ll fall in love with the hospital sad sacks and the sexy heroes, you’ll learn to hate the overachievers and whiny patients. Don’t miss a single riveting episode of….Every Medical Show. 

The Crash Cart--In which Dr. Handsome Face realizes that sometimes, giving up is all you can do

Nurse Sexy Hair: Doctor, the patient has a complicated medical disorder I can barely pronounce. I don’t think he’ll survive the night.

Dr. Handsome Face: I’m too busy battling my drinking problem to pay attention to anything you say.

Sassy Nurse: Oh no! Doctor, the patient is coding, we’re losing him!

Dr. Handsome Face: Get the crash cart!

*Nurse Sexy Hair drags out the crash cart, she gets tangled up on one of the cords and trips. 

The patient’s heart monitor flat lines and beeps really loudly.*

Sassy Nurse: It’s too late, he’s dead.

Dr. Handsome Face: No, I’m not giving up. You can’t have this one yet God!

*Dr. Handsome Face starts CPR. Nurse Sexy Hair stops him by putting a hand on Dr. Handsome Face’s shoulder.*

Nurse Sexy Hair: Stop, it’s over Dr. Handsome Face, you handsome handsome man. You did everything you could.

*Nurse Sexy Hair and Dr. Handsome Face Hug*

Sassy Nurse: Aren’t you gonna call it doctor? Doctor? There’s a dead patient here. Doctor---