Every Medical Show, Episode Ten: Wake-Up Call

About Every Medical Show

What if every trope, plotline, and archetype from every medical show on television were gathered into one big, crazy hospital? On Every Medical Show, you’ll meet all the same characters you love, and love to hate; like Dr. Handsome Face, who’s battling a drinking problem but always has time for his patients. Or Nurse Sexy Hair, who does her job but always manages to look picture perfect and is never too tired to bat her eyelashes at anything that moves. And Panicked Intern, who’s always on the edge of a nervous breakdown because he hasn’t slept since he started med school. At Average City Hospital, where all your favorite medical drama tropes live, the staff is always too busy with their relationships to be competent doctors, and if there’s an emergency, you better believe they’ll take a long lunch break before getting down to business. On Every Medical Show, you’ll fall in love with the hospital sad sacks and the sexy heroes, you’ll learn to hate the overachievers and whiny patients. Don’t miss a single riveting episode of….Every Medical Show.

In which the hospital staff finally rub the sleep out of their eyes.

It’s a tense scene in a patient’s room at Average City Hospital. A man was admitted from the ER complaining of a headache, dizziness, and an upset tummy. He also couldn’t remember why the sky is blue but no one remembers that anyways so the ER docs didn’t take him seriously until the disoriented patient passed out on the floor. Luckily Dr. Handsome Face was there to save the day….

Dr. Handsome Face: One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four, five…..*Breathes air into patient on the floor.*

Apathetic Nurse: I think you’re doing it wrong.

Nurse Sexy Hair: No, no, you’re doing great Dr. Handsome Face. Um, could you just watch your elbows, you almost messed up my hair. Do you need a cotton ball? Or a tongue depresser maybe? *Nurse Sexy Hair is sitting on the floor next to Dr. Handsome Face holding a jar of cotton balls.*

Dr. Handsome Face: I’m trying to save a life here!

Apathetic Nurse: And I’m trying to take a nap---keep it down. Look, he’s alive. I think. *Points at the patient.*

Disoriented Patient: What happened? Where am I?

Nurse Sexy Hair: You’re at Average City Hospital sir, you almost died but Dr. Handsome Face here saved your life. *Uses a cotton ball to dab at the sweat on Dr. Handsome Face’s forehead.* Need a cotton ball sir?

Disoriented Patient: Huh? I’m dead?

Nurse Sexy Hair: No, you’re fine, or you will be now.

Disoriented Patient: I think you’re fine. *Disoriented Patients flashes Nurse Sexy Hair a flirty smile but starts gagging and coughing.*

Apathetic Nurse: *Clapping.* Congratulations on saving a life Dr. Handsome Face, now go away so I can finish my nap. *Pulls a blanket over herself and rests her head on the chair’s armrest.*

Dr. Handsome Face: No thanks to you Apathetic Nurse, I just saved a man.

*The door bursts open and Panicked Intern rushes in. His hair is a mess and his eyes are red.*

Panicked Intern: What happened? Did I miss anything? *Notices the patient on the floor.* Man, I miss all the good stuff. Why didn’t anyone wake me?

Apathetic Nurse: Because you said, ‘under no circumstances should anyone wake me. I haven’t had a nap in 6 years.’

Panicked Intern: Well—yea. But you can wake me up from a nap anytime you want Apathetic Nurse.

Apathetic Nurse: That sounds vaguely inappropriate.

Disoriented Patient: So am I okay now? What’s going to happen to me?

Dr. Handsome Face: We’re going to fix you all up Mr. Disoriented Patient, don’t you worry. *Slaps Disoriented Patient on the back.*

Disoriented Patient: I feel woozy. And maybe a little gassy.

Dr. Handsome Face: Okay then, that’s my cue to leave, I have a lot of other patients to see. Nurse Sexy Hair, shall we?

*Dr. Handsome Face and Nurse Sexy Hair stand up, Dr. Handsome Face offers Nurse Sexy Hair his arm to lean against and they leave the room. Disoriented Patient is still on the floor.*

Apathetic Nurse: Uhhhmmmm, where are you two going? This isn’t my patient.

Nurse Sexy Hair: He’s your patient now, *giggles.* See ya at lunch!

Panicked Intern: I can help you Apathetic Nurse, I’m not doing anything. Not until 5 o’clock anyways, that’s when I have to see my therapist, and then I need to do some deep breathing---Wait, so what’s wrong with this guy?

Disoriented Patient: I’m disoriented.

*Panicked Intern helps the patient up and gets him seated on a chair.*

Apathetic Nurse: *Shouting down the hall at Nurse Sexy Hair.* I’m not doing this again Nurse Sexy Hair, I’m not picking up all your patients because you have an almost date over some hospital Jello with Dr. Handsome Face! Come back here!

Panicked Intern: Don’t worry Apathetic Nurse, I’ll take care of everything, once you tell me what to do of course. Well, I sorta know what to do, first we should check his pulse, no, his blood pressure.

Apathetic Nurse: First he needs to fill out some paperwork. *Sighs.* I’ll be right back Panicked Intern. *Leaves the room.*

Panicked Intern: Did you hear that Disoriented Patient? She said my name! She knows my name. *Sighs.* She’s finally falling in love with me.

Disoriented Patient: What is love?

*Apathetic Nurse is walking back to the room with the paperwork, she spots Nurse Sexy Hair laughing with Dr. Handsome Face.*

Apathetic Nurse: You won’t get away with this Nurse Sexy Hair, I will have my revenge. And my nap.

Will Apathetic Nurse get her revenge? Will Panicked Intern finally take a nap? And are Dr. Handsome Face and Nurse Sexy Hair actually dating? Tune in next episode to see what will happen on Every Medical Show….