Every Medical Show, Episode Eight: A Cheesy Romance

About Every Medical Show

What if every trope, plotline, and archetype from every medical show on television were gathered into one big, crazy hospital? On Every Medical Show, you’ll meet all the same characters you love, and love to hate; like Dr. Handsome Face, who’s battling a drinking problem but always has time for his patients. Or Nurse Sexy Hair, who does her job but always manages to look picture perfect and is never too tired to bat her eyelashes at anything that moves. And Panicked Intern, who’s always on the edge of a nervous breakdown because he hasn’t slept since he started med school. At Average City Hospital, where all your favorite medical drama tropes live, the staff is always too busy with their relationships to be competent doctors, and if there’s an emergency, you better believe they’ll take a long lunch break before getting down to business. On Every Medical Show, you’ll fall in love with the hospital sad sacks and the sexy heroes, you’ll learn to hate the overachievers and whiny patients. Don’t miss a single riveting episode of….Every Medical Show.

In which Dr. Cheesehead meets a kindred spirit. 

It’s lunchtime on an average day at Average City Hospital. The cafeteria is particularly busy today being that it’s brownie Thursday. Dr. Cheesehead is trying to find a seat in the crowded cafeteria; he spots Overachiever Intern and Incompetent Intern gathered at the cool intern table with Awkward Dorky Intern huddled on a chair outside their circle. Dr. Cheesehead passes Evil British Doctor lurking in the dark corner of the room near Apathetic Nurse, who’s absorbed in texting. His usual seat with Dr. Handsome Face is taken up by Nurse Sexy Hair. Dr. Cheesehead finally spots an empty space at the end of a table. Hungry Nurse sits in the center of it, he’s surrounded by piled-up trays, plates, cups, and bowls of food, Dr. Cheesehead reluctantly sits down….

Dr. Cheesehead: Okay to sit here?

Hungry Nurse: *Mouth full.* Hmmm? Yea, sure. *Continues eating.*

Dr. Cheesehead: Got a lot of food here…you really going to eat it all? *Pushes away a half-eaten plate of macaroni and cheese.*

Hungry Nurse: Yup. And don’t touch the mac and cheese. It’s homemade. *Goes back to shoveling peas and carrots in his mouth.*

Dr. Cheesehead: Really? What type of cheese is in it? *Dr. Cheesehead eyes the macaroni and cheese greedily.*

Hungry Nurse: Ummm….hmm, think I made that one with cheddar, Parmesan, and…threw in some ranch too for flavor.

*Dr. Cheesehead’s eyes bug out, he licks his lips while staring at the macaroni and cheese.*

Dr. Cheesehead: You mind if have some?

Hungry Nurse: Yea, whatever. *Shrugs.*

*Dr. Cheesehead grabs the plate of half-eaten macaroni and cheese and eats the whole thing in a few seconds. Hungry Nurse stares at him.*

Dr. Cheesehead: Wow, that is the…second most delicious macaroni and cheese I have ever eaten. It was simply perfection!

Hungry Nurse: Just mac and cheese man. You sure were hungry.

Dr. Cheesehead: I am always hungry for cheese. Cheese is my life, it’s my heart, it’s my soul.

Hungry Nurse: Okay. *Goes back to eating, but keeps watching Dr. Cheesehead.*

Dr. Cheesehead: So you like cheese? What’s your favorite type?

Hungry Nurse: *Shrugs.* All types I guess. I just like food.

Dr. Cheesehead: Wow, so you like all types of cheese? You just love them all? My favorite is blue cheese, but it took me years to finally decide that, after trying many different types of cheese I settled on that one. I think of myself as a one-cheese type man, you can’t have them all, you can’t have more than one true love.

Hungry Nurse: Sure you can.

Dr. Cheesehead: How? You can’t love more than one thing, I’ve tried….all my relationships fall apart because I love cheese more than people. I was in love once, but he left me, he said he got tired of competing with a lump of cheese for my affection. *Starts crying.* I mean, I loved him, but, I loved my cheese even more. Is that so bad?

Hungry Nurse: Dude, you’re overthinking it. Just, I don’t know, love everything the same. Like me, I love all foods equally.

Dr. Cheesehead: That’s so…liberating. You’re a fascinating man Hungry Nurse.

Hungry Nurse: Uh, thanks?

Dr. Cheesehead: Would you, well, be interested in having lunch sometime? Something cheesy?

Hungry Nurse: Sure, I like food.

Dr. Cheesehead: *Muttering to himself.* I’ve found my soulmate. My true cheesemate.

Hungry Nurse: What? Did you say something?

Dr. Cheesehead: Nothing, it was cheesy anyways.