Fifteen

I was listening to that very old Taylor Swift song, Fifteen (released 2009) on Youtube today, don’t know why, don’t ask. 

She's just too cool for school, isn't she?
Image copyrighted by T. Swivel, please don't sue me Taylor.

Anyways, someone in the comments said that being fifteen is nothing like the song, it’s mostly school problems. I have to agree, most heartily. It got me thinking, what if songs actually sang about the real problems people faced, instead of heartbreak, romance, and wistful romantic longing? If there was a Fifteen soundtrack that was more realistic, it’d look something like this:

Fifteen Album featuring the hit singles “Geometry” and “Drive Me to the Mall, Please”

Learner’s License

This School Stinks

I Can’t Open my Locker

Geometry

Sexy Sex Ed (How to Spell Sex)

Why does School Start So Early

Drive Me to the Mall, Please

Extracurricular, Extra Problems

School Peas

Pop Quiz

Stop Laughing at Me (No, You’re Stupid)

Bus Smell

Check before you Cheat

Calculate the Radius

Mom Can I Have Some Money?

I Can’t Open my Locker, after-school remix

And then about ten years later, I'd release an anniversary album called Career, detailing the fun of finding a job as an adult:

Courtesy of the paint application on my computer

Career Album featuring hit singles “My Resume” and “Kill the Cover Letter”

Hunting for Jobs

My Resume

Format that s*** (explicit)

Who’s the Hiring Manager?

Application Boxes be too Small

Linkedin, Linkedout

Kill the Cover Letter

Rejection Hurts in the Brain

Relevant Experience

Unemployment Blues

To Whom It May Concern

Part-time Pain

Where’s my Writing Sample?

Kill the Cover Letter, professional remix

Interview (Stress to Impress)

Th edgy realism in my songs would blow everyone away and my songs' artistry and relevant social commentary would keep the world talking. I'd dominate the music charts and usher in a new age of music that speaks to the mundane realities of listeners. But for now, I'll get back to work. And here's that Taylor Swift song, Fifteen, all jokes aside, it's a good song.